Are there rules for sledging? I feel like there should be, but I have done an internet search and can’t find any, which is unfortunate as I was intending to print out multiple copies to hand out when I get back to the sledging hill next. Those that you find are for Cricket (apparently banter on the cricket pitch is called sledging. Obviously.). It certainly seems that not only can Britain not handle a bit of the white stuff, but all concept of etiquette goes right out the window. In fact by the time I left I was advocating a cheese counter based approach where everyone got a ticket number.
So based on my experience over the weekend I here present the Knitting Sailors definitive-rules-of-sledging-that-are-not-the-cricket-type.
- If you are pulling your child in their sledge and continue to pull the sledge on the pavement where the snow has thawed do not be surprised when this breaks the bottom of your high quality Halford sledge.
- Do be careful that when not sitting on your plastic sledge it does not get blown into you in the wind. It hurts.
- Do not walk back up the hill where everyone else is trying to sledge down – you are at best holding up those wanting to come down the hill and at worst getting in the way. Remember if you ignore this guidance and do this anyway, then take absolutely no notice at all of the multiple people on sledges trying to avoid you and falling out as a result. Honestly – they don’t mind.
- If your child is sitting in the sledge crying because they don’t want to go down the hill then take consideration of this and TAKE THEM HOME. Or at least take them away from me.
- When you get to the bottom of the hill don’t just randomly stand around in the way of everyone else coming down the hill. These things are hard to steer.
- If you are not sledging please don’t stand around chatting and getting in the way of everyone wanting to sledge at the top of the hill. Go stand at the bottom. Away from the hill. Or at home.
And with that off my chest, I’m just off to have a lie down. And to look for a ticket dispenser on E-Bay.