The Knitting Sailor

Something to write home about
August 29, 2012, 8:54 pm
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So this weekend was packed at the sailing club – we had visiting T15 windsurfers, cruising, racing, BBQing and the clubs Little Americas Cup on Monday.  It was probably the busiest weekend the club has seen for a while – despite appalling weather – veering from no wind and sunshine, to torrential rain with anything from no wind to really strong gusts coming in.

Now the Little Americas Cup is one of my favourite events – in homage to the original yacht racing in which our Olympic Gold Medal winner Ben Ainslie is competing at the moment.  Sorry – promised I would drop the Olympics didn’t I.

You’ll notice I said ‘Little’.  So don’t think this

think this

It’s a one day series ran in those infamous Toppers…… yep we’re back to those again… and the whole club match races against each other in these tiny craft, all on the same course in back to back races ran really close to shore for maximum jeering.  It can be a long day as you need to race everyone in your group and then there are semi’s between your group and the other groups and then up to a finals.

Having not done enough sailing this year I really felt this would be a great idea – especially in the sheeting rain with promises of big winds and gusts of up to 38 knots.  What I actually thought was ‘what the hell, I’m always knocked out early doors and at least I’ll have shown willing and with any luck I’ll be able to justify some cake if I’ve been sailing’.

So after an evening of preparing in the bar we were all ready to go.

Race preparation well under way

Following my recent posts about Ood’ing it’s also a really complicated one to run.  This year our Rear Commodore was back in the chair having ran this for a number of years.  And he did something I have never seen before.  Set up a course with a running start.

What this means is that the start line is DOWNWIND, round a P course and then a beat UPWIND to the finish.  I only worked out what this meant as I wasn’t in the first race, so I could watch how to do it, but the course looked a little like this –

I’ll have a P please Bob

Actually the wind and rain were a bit more wonky than that, but you get the gist!

So the clubs six Toppers were rigged and tied to the jetty and the racing began.  Each race is between two people from a group – and three of these races take place on each start.  So you get a hoot to start the countdown – which is two minutes and at the end of this two minutes the first pair set off, followed a minute later by the next pair, and the third pair go a minute after that!  Added to which to keep it fair you must change boat every race – so that there is no tactical advantage from one of the very high quality boats being set up better than another (i.e. having all its bits in working order).  The boat to avoid has usually been Jester – with a slow leak, but after some remedial work prior to last years race he went from zero to hero becoming the most favoured boat due to his racing orange colouring.

It’s not confusing at all.

On top of this watching the adults trying to climb onto these ridiculously light boats from the jetty is a sport all of its own… I wasn’t the only one who had my only capsize while trying to swap boats between races.

But the unusual course and start were not the only oddity.  This year we had the tightest racing the club has seen in at least my time.  People were doing tactical maneuvers, ‘covering’ people on the upwind leg, positioning themselves for mark overlaps, stealing wind on the downwind and generally doing things you would not expect to see.  And as its so far into shore and ran from the jetty – there are always lots of spectators waiting for their next race – cheering – and it turns out… taking notes.

So what started as a few people who had worked out some tactics, became a few more people who had also got tactics, followed by lots of people who had tactics and the tightest racing we have seen for ages.  Both the semi finals and finals all went to sail-off’s the results were so close.

Watch and learn

So why am I telling you all this?

Well firstly because I thought you would be interested in what is in our club an unusual and fun event, secondly to tell you about an exciting downwind start, thirdly to share what a great way of running racing this is for raising the standard of racing across your club and get more people involved, and lastly

Thunderous applause from the crowd

I actually came third in a proper race event.

I still don’t believe it.


I promise no more Olympics…..
August 20, 2012, 6:06 pm
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…once you have watched this.





Ooding with Ernie – the fastest milkman in the west
August 18, 2012, 9:33 am
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Well ok – he’s not really a milkman. He does however hold more trophies than anyone else in the club having swept the board (again!) in last year’s racing and this is the song we like to sing about his successes.  So last Sunday I found myself heading out to ood with Ernie and Tess (all the photos on this post are courtesy of Tess as I forgot my camera).  The plan was that we were going to be indoctrinated into the dark art of the ood.

I’ve done it before. Several times. It’s not been pretty – and I was hoping that having many hands and an expert to share the secrets would be a help.  It was.  In the first instance even just having someone who knew what they were doing having the same problems as you are is helpful – and it turns out some of it really wasn’t me!

The first difficulty is the setup. So you need a committee boat and everything that goes with the racing.  We have a pretty nifty flag stand so it only took us the half hour to find the additional shortened course and individual recall flags. This is despite the fact the same flags are used in the same boat every week.  I am sure we have flag pixies.

So then you need to find the idiot ood sheet to identify which is which.  But of course this is stuck down the back of the computer in the race office for some reason, and there is only one copy of it, so until it’s found just before launch you are guessing.

Its definitely one of these…..

Then you have to test the horn. And the radio. And the handheld radio for when the radio in the boat doesn’t work (usually when you have spilt your tea on it).

And then get all your extra kit (pencil, spare pencil, watches, binoculars, dry bag which is already wet inside, whistle and of course not forgetting your horn pressing finger).  There are other things as well but we forgot most of them, so well stick to the basics that we actually remembered.

You then need to make sure you are properly dressed – and have a buoyancy aid on.  Just because you are ooding doesn’t mean you won’t end up in the water when waving overenthusiastically at a patrol boat when the two radios you tested pack up.

So having done all this – we finally got on the water.  And now, at no charge I am going to share the secrets of the ood as imparted by the milkman.

The dark arts of the ood

Decide on your course. I always try to stick to triangles or a trapezoid.  I struggle with anything much more complicated as a competitor myself, but it turns out some races have specific requirements.    This is a great tip – turns out races are meant to be a certain length of time, and sometimes a pre-determined layout – SOOOO never knew this – so this should affect the course.  So should the type of boats.  This is when it is useful to have remembered the signing in sheet from the clubhouse so you know who is racing in what…

You can then work out where the wind is coming from and get your patrol boat to lay the windward mark.  Do this by holding up a flag and seeing how it streams.  Note – make sure you aren’t using the racing abandoned flag to do this.

Then attempt the impossible task of using a little gadget to work out where start line goes.  No, I don’t know what it’s called, it does degrees and stuff!  Having done this, start the impossible task of getting the pin dropped by the patrol boat.  Remember that instructions like ‘left a bit, right a bit’ aren’t going to help as they aren’t on the same boat as you.  This is also a good time to remind yourself that in good radio protocol you don’t say ‘Over and Out’. Or ‘10-4 good buddy’.

Having decided your course then hold it up on the board and try to make sure that you don’t fall in while attempting  to show it to boats as they sail past.  Hot tip – while doing this with boats sailing around the committee boat competitors will often shout you a question – if you don’t hear what someone shouts at you from their boat, don’t say yes in a vaguely distracted way.   You have almost certainly put your foot in it.

Now the next hot tip is about time.  We run on a three minute start.  But it’s all about the four minutes. Set the watches for four and all start them together – it reduces the things you do in the actual start sequence and also means you can check that all if the watches are running at the same time in case you accidentally stop one while waving at the patrol boat and have to rely on one of the ‘backup’ watches for times. This has never happened to me. Honest.

You can then count down from four minutes to the actual start of the three minute sequence.  Wise competitors can sail close to the committee boat to try and get a fast track into how the sequence is going as you count down to others in the boat with you.  If you find this is the case a good round of replacing the number with the word ‘rhubarb’ always throws them off the scent.  Remember this will also confuse the heck out of the others in the boat with you as well.

‘Rhubarb, Rhubarb, Rhubarb!’

This next piece of advice is where I have fallen down.  Don’t ood alone.  I have normally ooded alone. Let’s be honest – I only ever do it out of lack of anyone else to do it. And it turns out this is the root of all evil.  At the start of the three minutes you have to switch off the radio, blow the horn and pull up random flag as detailed on the idiot ood sheet.   At one point in time I would also be trying to start my watch as well.   Turns out what you also need here is a minion helper to do one of these (get them to do the flags it’s scarier) while you count down and blow the horn. Continue to do this all the way through the three minute sequence while trying to not let idiot ood sheet blow away. Both watch the line for infringement and be ready to put up the recall flag if required.  Make sure you aren’t standing on it.

So as long as you get a clean start then its all good and having successfully navigated the start sequence give yourself giant pat on the back. Congratulate all others on the boat and sit back and watch the fun.  Remember to switch the radio back on ad check in with the patrol team.  It makes them feel loved.

You do get a great view of the racing and tactics while on the committee boat. So as long as it’s not cold wet and windy (hysterical laughter about the one day of sailing at Kielder that hasn’t involved at least two out of the three) then this can be the fun bit.

That’s the Boatfixer with his Dennis the Menace kite up!

But all too quickly the fast boats will be upon you – so make sure you have your pencil and paper at the ready.  There is no point using a pen.  The ink WILL run in the rain.  (of course it’s raining.  Its Kielder remember?)  Take times for each boat on each lap. That way if something goes wrong and the race is stopped for any reason or you forget to finish the race then you can still get some results.  Don’t wave at people as they go past – it looks unprofessional.  If there are two of you a good way to do times is for one to watch the line and read out tines, the other to note them.  If possible have two pieces of paper on clipboards to put your with times on – this is helpful for when one of them blows away.

Taking lap times is also a good way to get a measure of the time it is taking boats to get round – this will also give a measure of how many more laps you can sensibly run in the time remaining – if it’s taking 25 mins for one lap and its only due to run for 30 minutes then you need to think about shortening the course.  Who knew?  And you need to do this before the first boat has finished the lap you want to end on as you have to find the flag, press the horn and run it up the flagpole before they cross the line.  Realising it would be a good idea to shorten the course once a couple of boats are already over the line can mean that anyone you shorten on now will have to sit around and wait while the boats you released do the extra lap.  No one minds this – much.  Especially when it’s raining and there isn’t much wind so they are stuck sitting in the middle of the lake for 25 mins watching you watching the boats you let through before you made up your mind and cursing silently under your breath.

So whether you finish as you had planned, or you shorten the course early, the only difference with your last lap is that once they cross the line you blow your horn at them so they know they have finished.  Do not put up the shortened course flag and then get side-tracked into a conversation.  Boats WILL cross the line and you won’t have a time for them.

And that is apparently all there is too it.  Check the wind and your start line… and go again!

So what was the result of all of this?  I got a finish for every competitor in every race.  I didn’t run a general recall. I didn’t abandon a start sequence.  I didn’t; have to ask anyone if they had won.  I also didn’t go home feeling like I needed to lie down in a darkened room for a few hours.  I’m calling it a win.

I’m smiling and everything….

Ernie’s Tips

Make sure you go out onto the water well equipped – extra pencils, papers and watches are never going to go amiss

Make sure you know the length and course for each of the racing you are running.  If you aren’t sure this info should be in your race office somewhere

Display your course info clearly.

Get on with it – people are there to race, not watch you spend hours minutely adjusting a start line.

Have a friend to help with the flags and take times.

Start your sequence a minute early to give you time to prepare.

Time every lap

Be mindful of the different speed boats you have on the course and remember your race will be the length it takes you slowest boat to finish

Know where your flags are in case you need them

Concentrate – ALL THE TIME – the race might have just started but you still need to keep an eye out to make sure you aren’t surprised by any fast boats getting round a small course while you are still pouring the tea.

Get races finished and started quickly.

My Tips

Wear a hat – it makes you look more important

August 16, 2012, 11:45 am
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This strange race is much misunderstood.  Unattractive, with a tentacled face, gleaming red eyes and requiring an interpreter they do however speak with one voice, based around their low-level telepathic field, which also allows them to project through time and space.

This is what I did at the weekend.  No really – ood stands for Officer of the day.  So on this day, once a year I have to be calm, consistent, organised, encyclopaedic about RYA rules and beyond reproach.

(OK, OK, the club changed the duty last year from ood – splitting it into to ROD and COD (race officer of the day and committee on duty) – but to me we’ll always be ood’s – there’s nothing like pushing through a lunch que declaring ‘ood coming through’ while waggling your hand in front of your face.)

It’s normally a disaster.  Last year I got shouted at for running all the timings wrong in the Stern Chase (I wasn’t – they were right – no consolation), had to check who won with the two lead boats as I wasn’t sure from the angle they finished at and didn’t manage to log finishes at all in the Ramblers series.  Fortunately the competitors were all pretty forgiving – especially when one of them twigged I had gone to hide in the race office and cry.

But it’s a really stressful day, allot to cope with on your own, and as our duties tend to be on the same day each year I always get the same challenging mix of races – two short back to backs ran on the water in the morning, followed by a one hour shore start Stern Chase (often with half a dozen and more different classes all with a different time start) with an on the water finish followed by one long race usually started and finished from the shore.

Phew.  We run handicap racing at the club too – so following all of these you then need to be able to work the race program on the club abacus computer to get a result.

After last year I swore never again.

I’ll tell you what happened tomorrow.

Who knew I won Gold?
August 13, 2012, 4:13 pm
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So the Olympics are finished and life can get back to normal.  So what does that mean?  Well for a start we can all stop watching sport at every available moment – I even found myself actively engaging in a bout of jumping earlier last week – trust me – put Olympics in the title and I was quite literally watching anything.  Turned out we are good at jumping and got Gold in it – who knew??

We can also stop being a little smug about our medal haul – none of us are actually smug – we are just trying to cover how totally amazed we are with how well we have done.  And in who has achieved – allot of our ‘nailed on’ medals didn’t come off, or didn’t do as well as we would have hoped, while in other areas (dancing horses anyone?) we have surprised everyone.

I can finally put my flags away – they came out for the Jubilee and have taken up residence since – and I have never owned a flag prior to this.

The London transport system can stop emailing me thanking me for not using it – I’ve never seen a business so pleased that I have avoided it and chose other modes of transport instead (primarily, not going to London, and walking when I had to go, or even on one occasion going in an Olympic Lane in a taxi – I was so excited…).

For special people only

But what I am most excited about is how much of a medal I have won.  Obviously by being a taxpayer and buying lottery tickets all the athletes funding has actually come from me (and the rest of the British public).  So based on the 63,600,000 people there are in Britain (well, the UK), I calculate that I have personal possession of 0.00000102201 of one of our 65 medals.  I’m so proud.

If you try and work out how much of a gold medal I have won however calculators start doing funny things – mine tells me I have won 4.55974843e-7 of one of our Gold medals.  That’s maths too hard for me, so I’ll stick with ‘some’ of a gold medal is mine….!

They are made from gen-u-ine gold

So for a little wincey country I think we have done pretty good – and it’s just been announced that on the back of our success kids will be doing more sport at school, increased spending will be available for continued investment in sport both at community and elite level, and we will all be taking an increased interest in Handball and Taekwondo.

Net gain in sailing club members over this time?  Nil.

Drastic action is required to capitalise on Olympic enthusiasm.  Watch this space.

This is a tourist information announcement for Yorkshire
August 10, 2012, 2:51 pm
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Ten reasons why Yorkshire is great

1. No parking restrictions

You parked it where?

2. A somewhat relaxed approach to Health and Safety

Is that really safe?

(That right – giant saw, no helmets, glasses, gloves, shirt hanging out, and I was too scared to photograph when he was stood on top with one leg either side of the blade pulling the wood through – while it was still running)

3. An inclusive and welcoming approach to people from all across the globe

I wonder if they paid them in fruit

4. Great night life

Just a normal Saturday night on Pickering High Street

5. Wool Shops

Fortunately they have plenty of multi coloured sheep in Yorkshire

6. They support the traditional British holiday

Don’t worry – it did rain later

7. Enthusiasm for the local wildlife

It’s OK – I checked and it wasn’t nailed there

8. They have pride in their inventors

Not seen a one of these on any of the Olympic boats – are we going wrong somewhere?

9. They can make you walk on water


10. And most of all… they serve great Beer!  (Really?  You need a photo of it?????)

Go visit – and tell them I sent you!

Did you put something in my coffee?
August 8, 2012, 1:59 pm
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I think I may have a problem.

It all started this weekend, when we went away to Yorkshire (more on this later – I can’t tell you what a random place that is – and if it were a country rather than a county it would currently be standing fourth in the Olympic Medal tables).  We left on Friday and as usually I had my normal packing disaster.   What this means is I ended up taking away more wool than clothes with me, and even the wool I took had no discernible rhyme or reason too it.  I was half way through a jumper.  Why didn’t I just take that?

I don’t know, but holiday-starty-itis set in.   After starting four different projects over the space of two hours on the way there I had got completely hooked on a Wingspan in green.  I have not had any inclination to knit this.  It’s not that exciting.  Its garter stitch.  I only started it because everyone else in the world had done it and the pattern was simple enough to do while watching the Mr drive round and round a track (and I even managed to look interested).  It is the work of the devil.

I can’t put it down.

I found myself sitting in a meeting yesterday day dreaming of knitting some more.  I have been knitting on the Metro, in the car, quickly under my desk, dropping more stitches than knitting them.  A strange sense of urgency has taken over when I feel compelled to finish it as soon as possible… possibly so I can knit another one.  And the worst thing is?  I’m not even sure I like it.  I think it will make me look like a dinosaur.

Just call me T-Rex

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