It’s taken me a while to write this post because in some ways it has nothing to do with this blog – in others – it has everything to do with it.
So many of us are treading a fine line and trying to find a ‘work / life balance’. I’ve never really been sure about that – I mean surely your work is part of your life too? And for a little while I have been feeling that maybe some of the makeup of my life is wrong. Not in any evil, crimebaron, serial killer type way, just, wrong. It’s felt uncomfortable and itchy, something I can’t quite put my finger on, and the more I have tried to ignore it the more it seems that certain events have happened to thrust it in my face.
So I handed in my notice and as of last week I no longer have a job. If you say it really quick it’s fine!
I’m not really sure what that means – I am now completely outside every frame of reference I have. I’ve had a job since I was 13 – and I understand delivering the papers isn’t running a multinational, but the disciplines that go with that have been consistent ever since. Equally I think so much of our self image and values about who we are is tied up in our job – but possibly that was the itchy feeling?
My new plan is to work for myself. Now while there are inherent advantages in this – I know how my boss takes her coffee, what she’s going to moan about and I can get an answer to any important question immediately – there are also disadvantages – turns out high expectations and a lack of taking no for an answer just being the start of them!
Everyone else thinks this is a genius plan. I, on the other hand, feel a bit like a kid who has just had the stabilizers taken off her bike. Wobbly, scared and sure that I am going to end up with scabby knees down the line , but with people behind me who can see exactly how it can work and know it’s just a wobble and then it will be fine.
In the meantime, I think there might be more knitting. And sailing. And possibly, if you’re really unlucky there might even be more blogging about it. Thanks for reading x