I didn’t really see you there
Stood behind my fought for stool
I’d only even taken a pew
To try and use the internet
Your suitcase it was very full
And hung about with extra stuff
But when I pushed my seat right back
I didn’t expect it to fall about
And crash into you with your scalding coffee
(I think it was a grande)
You must have made a grab
To save it from its tragic plight
But this was a futile attempt
It simply knocked the coffee from your hand
Depositing it across the land
I know I looked a little vague
As I apologised and turned on tail
You didn’t look so very jolly
In fact I thought you might go purple
Standing there with bags on floor
Coffee dripping from the door
But my train doors were just closing
Without a rush I would be stranded
… I’m really very sorry
The Knitting Sailor 
I wasn’t the man
in the coffee shop
who owns a
very full suitcase,
nor do I own
a slide trombone,
an arrow quiver,
or a lute case.
But should you be planning
a visit to
some shop where
I might be drinking
a drink that might spill,
please advise, if you will,
and I’ll reconsider
my thinking.
So why don’t you switch
To something more solid
Like ice lollies
Which will save you from clumsy people
And their inopportune chair movement?
I might have been
the man with the case
you bumped in your haste
in the coffee shop.
Were you the girl
with the purple eyes
and strange curls
wearing black tights?
On another day
I might
have said hello.
But no
you ran me over
wearing that strange hand-knitted pullover
and spilled my grande
all down my trousers
and made me angry.
It would make me happy
if you would send me your address
so you could give me a thrill
by recompensing me for the mess
you caused
by paying my dry cleaning bill.
No win no fee
Lets wait and see
What the courts have to say
About the huge coffee mess
and your mental distress
I’m neither the man
with the drink in his hand
nor the suitor of some dowager’s
with coffee-stained trousers.
Instead, I’ve a plan, dear,
I’m posting some spam here
Please visit my website
(spammers are forthright)
Why sit there and moan?
Work online from home!