If you were the man in the coffee shop in London last week

I didn’t really see you there

Stood behind my fought for stool

I’d only even taken a pew

To try and use the internet

Your suitcase it was very full

And hung about with extra stuff

But when I pushed my seat right back

I didn’t expect it to fall about

And crash into you with your scalding coffee

(I think it was a grande)

You must have made a grab

To save it from its tragic plight

But this was a futile attempt

It simply knocked the coffee from your hand

Depositing it across the land

I know I looked a little vague

As I apologised and turned on tail

You didn’t look so very jolly

In fact I thought you might go purple

Standing there with bags on floor

Coffee dripping from the door

But my train doors were just closing

Without a rush I would be stranded

… I’m really very sorry


  1. I wasn’t the man
    in the coffee shop
    who owns a
    very full suitcase,
    nor do I own
    a slide trombone,
    an arrow quiver,
    or a lute case.
    But should you be planning
    a visit to
    some shop where
    I might be drinking
    a drink that might spill,
    please advise, if you will,
    and I’ll reconsider
    my thinking.

  2. I might have been
    the man with the case
    you bumped in your haste
    in the coffee shop.

    Were you the girl
    with the purple eyes
    and strange curls
    wearing black tights?

    On another day
    I might
    have said hello.

    But no
    you ran me over
    wearing that strange hand-knitted pullover
    and spilled my grande
    all down my trousers
    and made me angry.

    It would make me happy
    if you would send me your address
    so you could give me a thrill
    by recompensing me for the mess
    you caused
    by paying my dry cleaning bill.

  3. I’m neither the man
    with the drink in his hand
    nor the suitor of some dowager’s
    with coffee-stained trousers.
    Instead, I’ve a plan, dear,
    I’m posting some spam here
    Please visit my website
    (spammers are forthright)
    Why sit there and moan?
    Work online from home!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s